Candid Club

For years, I treated food like it was a moral test. If I ate a salad, I was “being good”. If I had McDonald’s, I’d say I “messed up”. My days were either on track or off the rails. Nothing much in between and every bite came with a side of judgement.

I didn’t realize how exhausting it actually was until I started noticing how often I talked about food like it owed me something. “I was bad today”. “I need to be strict this week”. “I’ll make up for it tomorrow”. It was this constant loop of guilt and negotiation, like food was a deal I had to keep just to feel okay in my own skin.

Here’s the thing, I wasn’t on some extreme diet. I wasn’t counting every calorie or doing anything that would raise red flags. I was just quietly, constantly performing a kind of mental gymnastics. I was trying to earn every meal, justify every craving and balance it all out by Monday.

Then one day, someone said something simple that stuck:
“You’re not a better person because you ate kale. And you’re not a worse one because you didn’t.”

It hit me harder than I expected. I had been assigning value, moral value, to what I ate. Not just health or energy or nourishment, but goodness. Worth. Discipline. Control.

Since then, I’ve been trying to unlearn all of it. I don’t label food anymore. No “clean” or “junk.” No “cheat meals.” No food that’s off-limits just because someone online said it’s toxic. I still try to eat in a way that feels good, but that’s the key word now: feels. I want to feel full, satisfied, energized. I want to enjoy what I’m eating without explaining it, fixing it, or making up for it later.

Letting go of food guilt hasn’t made me less mindful. If anything, it’s made me more tuned in. I don’t swing between extremes anymore. I just eat. Some days I crave greens, other days I crave bread and butter. Both are fine. Both are allowed.

Food is not a confession. It’s not a sin to be managed or a virtue to be praised. It’s just food.

And I finally just want to eat in peace.

And if no one’s told you lately: You do not have to earn your meals. You’re allowed to eat and enjoy. No disclaimers needed.